The Uncertainty Continues

We are instill in a state of constant uncertainty.  We are still under "Stay at Home" orders from Governor Walz.  Some States call it Shelter in Place.  Hunker Down. No matter what you call it the words all mean the same.  Stay at home and safe.  Keep your visits to the store minimal.  Work from home. I never imagined the words Social distancing would change so much about my life so much.  I am, by nature, a social person.  Social Distancing has striped me from my friends and my family.  I'm sure my family would like to be considered most important but I long for my friends.  My sewing comrades, 4-H co-leaders, the people we enjoy common interests with. 


The Government and Health officials are encouraging us to use technology to stay distantly together to our friends and family.  Distantly Together.  Another set of unusual words.  Zoom video meetings have taken on new meaning to me.  Facebook video with my friend Michelle have helped save my sanity.  Even just chatting while I was the dishes.  Showing each other small sewing projects we have each done.  Updating on our days and what our families are up to.  Trying to find some sort of normalcy. 


The Evenings are weird.  What to do?  Save money and eat at home or support local businesses?  We are being pushed to help support these businesses with take out and delivery options.  I feel for some of these workers though.  The lady in the McDonald's Drive through makes me feel guilty for coming.  Am I supporting McDonalds with my Coffee order or am I exposing her.  Such a weird feeling.


Then we talk about reopening.  When will the businesses and the stores be able to open?  When will we go back to normal?  Will that normal be the old normal? Or will it be a whole new normal?  Will people shake hands?  Bump Elbows?  Air high-fives?  Will people be able to telecommute and work from home?  I feel like we are all waiting while we hold our breath waiting for this to be over.  As I wait and hold my breath my blood pressure climbs higher and higher.  Now on BP Medication and new anxiety meds I feel my shake and my pulse increase.  Feeling this gives me more anxiety and gives me more anxiety.  It's a vicious circle of insanity.


I'm trying to focus on 2 days.  Today and tomorrow.  I can only control a small little circle of things.  My counselor has encouraged me focus on today and tomorrow.  After that I will look at the next 2 days.  I will work to only worry about what I can control.  For now I focus on small things.  Attend to the vegetable plants I started from seed.  Work on my sewing. Slowly making progress on some of the big projects that I am took on.


If you are reading this, how are you handling today?  What does the current normal look like for you?